Dating in 21

Ok. Can we just say that Covid has really FUCKED us single people. First of all you are either meeting people off a dating app (who are usually all emotionally unavailable), hoping you go for the same apple at the grocery store or praying the guy in front of you at Tim Hortons drive through who just paid for your order will magically pull over and ask you out. All I’m saying is, it’s a little fucking tricky right now. 

Let’s start with the dating apps. I don’t think I’ve been ghosted so many times before in my LIFE. My first “ghosting” situation....not gonna lie it fucks with you mentally! You start questioning what you said, what you did....was it the way I texted? I’ve been ghosted in person too. Was hanging out with this guy on and off for a couple weeks (who BEGGED to see me again and again) and we had plans to go to the mountains the next morning, he said he’d pick me up at 11. I was sitting there all ready, 11 rolls around, 11:30, 12.....I texted, called. NOTHING. That’s the last I heard from him. I think my biggest problem with ghosting is it’s such a cowardly way to get out of a situation. Can you not just be a man and a respectful human being and just simply say “sorry this isn’t for me”. I mean when and where did we lose all our morals and respect for other freakin humans!? I don't know but by the 10th time of being ghosted, you just really understand that’s it’s not you, it’s them. I know that’s typical of me to say BUT they obviously have some insecurities within themselves anyways and in my opinion you dodged a bullet!

I was on a dating show on the radio once you guys. My best friend sent me this advertisement on Instagram and jokingly said “you should sign up”....so I thought what the hell. I got a call the next day saying I was one of the contestants. We had to do a little interview type thing about who we are and blah blah blah. OH, did I tell you it was for Jillian Harris husbands, best friend (I mean let’s be honest, I would have signed up for any guy who knew Jillian Harris haha). So I made it down to the final 3 and this guy, was able to talk to us through the radio and ask us one question. He asked the other girls some pretty serious questions and then mine. He asked “what’s the weirdest thing you do”. I started sweating cause in my head I’m all like.....everything I do is weird how do I pick just one. Wanna know what I decided to share on the radio for everyone to hear!? That I liked pickles with ranch. Fuck sakes Jordan. Needless to say, I got cut that round but there was a trending joke of people in Calgary trying pickles and ranch (you’re welcome, it’s the tits).

I get the occasional message on Instagram from guys and to be honest I usually don’t even read them, I delete them right away. But there was this one guy. I don’t know what it is but his message was intriguing so we started to chat. Found out he lived in Texas but at this point I was like welp, if I had a connection with someone in China I wouldn’t turn it down. So texting lead to calling, calling lead to FaceTiming and then Before I knew it we were FaceTimeing 2-3 times/day! I was excited to hear from him and see his face and we talked about when we would meet! So one night I’m sitting doing clay and my phone rings. ITS HIM!!! I answer and hear another woman’s voice on the phone. Balling. “Why are you talking to my fiancé!?”. I instantly felt sick and like a monster. She was actually really kind and was apologizing to me!? Turns out I was one of the 5 woman he was doing this with. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK.

I’ve dated a guy off tiktok once, well that was just a mistake. You know when he’s more Immature than your 3 year old, it’s probably not the best outcome. It ended that he ended up finding another mom that I actually introduced him too haha. See I should write a book....maybe I will one day. Who knows. OH and super random but what the hell is up with all of your past ex’s messaging you. Like out of no where? I shit you not I had 4 guys I used to date message me all in the same week and it had been over a year and a bit that I had last spoke to them. Covid hits and you’re lonely? You regret you decision in leaving? You can’t find anyone else to deal with you so you thought, what the hell I’ll giver another whirl with that chic from before? Haha yea no, I’m good thanks.

I think my whole take away from this dating experience is that at the end of the day you just have to be yourself. I would always message my friends asking what I should say back to messages, how I should respond. But it should be coming from you. Don’t worry about what the person is thinking or feeling on the other end, just whole heartedly be yourself. If you wanna text, text. If you wanna ask what their intentions are, ask. Don’t wait a certain amount of time to respond because dating has turned into this weird game where you can’t look “too available”. Fuck that. If you’re like me you’re on those dating sites for a reason.  Not to make new friends, not to have meaningless conversations with random fucking people but to actually make genuine connections with someone.

Do you ever feel like you’re dating in the wrong generation. Or maybe you wish you lived back in the day before technology existed? I don't know, I think about it often. When did men stop being men? When was it ok for them to stop opening car doors, calling, making an effort. Coming to your front door to pick you up for a date instead of texting “here”. It’s so hard for me because I actually crave that kind of love, where you both give. You both go out of your way to do kind things for one another. I’m not saying it’s all men, I’m sure woman have fallen off the wagon with doing kind gestures as well but I’m just telling you how I see it.

I know this pandemic has made it so hard on everyone and has made it hard to date. You question peoples intentions on the dating apps.....are they lonely and just need some new people to talk to or are they actually looking to be committed to someone? All I can offer you is be yourself. Go in knowing YOUR intentions. What you’re wanting and don’t stray away from that. Be true to yourself, and be honest with the person on the other end of it. If what they are offering you isn’t what you decided you want, that’s ok. Kindly tell them that and move on. Please PLEASE just stay true to you and just treat them the way you’d want them to treat you. Don’t rush through this process. I promise there is a reason why chad ghosted you.

Stay strong my lovelies, we’re in this together and I got chu ;)